Lately, I found myself spinning or faffing around trying to figure out where to put my energy now that the blog awards are over and my side projects are slowly being ticked off. I had that lull, you know the one were nothing feels quite right. I had a sort-of plan for the blog and podcast when I started but it wasn’t initially career driven. The blog was started because I like to write. I like the sound of typing at a keyboard and the process of laying out my thoughts on a page but recently I was feeling a bit lost creatively (again) and the decision of what my next steps should be have just seemed too daunting. I recessed and nothing really gave me any joy, that was until this weekend.
If you are anything like me, the idea of doing something new that you haven’t tried and tested gives you shivers and doing it with an audience damn right scares you down to your core. Behind the scenes of this blog and podcast is a circle of friends and accountability buddies who provide amazing encouragement which has allowed me to grow and practice different writing techniques and nudge me towards my goals. I’m a person in need of a support system and well the thoughts of where to go from here just left me feeling like a wet towel.
A few months ago I hinted at writing something that I was proud of but it remained floating around and I never did anything with it. It’s time to change that and put a personal goal of mine front and centre for a change. This means doing something that scares me but it’s time to double down and do it or let it go. So for the month of November, I will be taking part in NaNoWriMo which is National Novel Writing Month.
I have never really set out to be a writer or to write a novel but there is this one story that needs to be told. It’s not my usual humour or tone and is very different to the person I have allowed you all to get to know here. This weekend amidst Storm Ophelia and a friend’s wedding, I did something that scared me a little. I gave those pages I wrote months ago to a friend and asked for her opinion. I did that thing that all creatives go through where I worried about what she thought. Would she like them? Was my writing good enough? Was the story engaging or annoying or too personal to be shared? I’m sure to some of you that you wouldn’t blink an eye at the thought of this but for me, something about it was just terrifying and made me anxious, as if by reading those pages she would change her mind about me and never speak to me again or worse come back and in a kind way, would confirm my fear that yes, in fact, it was a terrible idea.
If you have gotten this far into the blog post you know that she, in fact, came back and told me it was amazing and even quoted her favourite line and told me it was genius. I don’t think anyone has ever said that anything I wrote was genius before so I did it. I sat down this morning and started charting out my workflow and thrashing out the idea. I wrote an outline in chapters from beginning to end and started a Tello board on what I need to do before the 1st of November so that I could focus the month on writing. I drafted out my editorial calendar for the blog and podcast and figured out what would be realistically achievable. Everything came so clearly and easily that it hardly felt like work. As if by making a decision and having the support of a friend uncorked my creativity and made me realise I could do something I always admired others for but too scared to try myself. In part, that is due to my science background and the need to do everything in repetition and to be confident before drawing a conclusion and presenting data. I find it hard to step away from that familiar process and comfort zone.
Come and Join Me
I signed up over here and if you want to come and join me, my author name is ‘Seaver‘. Just click on through to my author page and click ‘add as a buddy’. I will be writing for both Europe:Ireland:Dublin and Europe:Ireland:NorthEast. If you are already an author over there than I would appreciate any guidance you have to offer so please find me on the forums or on my bio page. I will be writing a blog post series on the process so that you can hold me accountable too and help me reach my goal because I know that all of you will be cheering me on too. The target is 50,000 words between the 1st and the 30th of November so it does require some planning.
All I can tell you is that I am excited again and that being brave enough to share something private with a friend has allowed me to grasp hold of my creative self and focus on applying my energy into something that feels right. I haven’t had this feeling since I started the blog and you all know how that turned out.
I just hope it all doesn’t end up in tears but at worst I don’t have to share my 50,000 words with the world if I chicken out.
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