Today’s Daily Post prompt is Second Thoughts. This is also a little unusual for me to participate but you can always skip past this post to the normal scheduled programming tomorrow for craft if you like. There are countless Mommy Bloggers out there and I guess I became one of them. I was a blogger before I became a mum but now, I blog and I raise two children among many other things. There isn’t a day goes by that I don’t have second thoughts.
We became parents very soon after getting married, in fact we had an instant family and a pretty instant home. Parenthood felt very much like we had been run over by a train. Suddenly, weeks had gone by and sleep had slowly managed to creep it’s way back into our lives but the journey of being parents, little did we know, had started off easy.
At the time, dealing with the stress of nightly wakings, feedings, teething and nappies seemed like it was never going to end and we thought to ourselves, “This is the worst part. It will get easier.” And then the toddler years hit us almost overnight. We used to have a child that rarely had a tantrum and now tantrums are almost daily. Tired, worn out and completely stressed and frustrated we have both said “Why, did we want to be parents?” Those second thoughts at the end of the day, the ones that no one talks about.
The “we shouldn’t be parents” thoughts, the “we are the worst parents in the world” and those second thoughts gnaw away at you. Especially those weeks when it seems like there is no end to the crying (please remember there is no day job to break up the crying either). Then one day the sentence that made it all better, came not from a friend but a completely accidental meeting with a stranger. He said the magic words. That parents are suppose to be good enough, not perfect, not fantastic or great but good enough.
No two words (other than ‘I Do’) have changed my outlook on life quite so much. I didn’t need to measure my parenting against anything or anyone other than my children. I stopped reading books, websites and articles and I haven’t listened to a parenting podcast in a very long time now. I gauged what we would do on a specific day, on my toddlers mood. I kept her busy when she needed it and let her have down days with movies when she needed it. Is our life better? Yes, it’s insanely busy but if the toddler has a good day, mommy and baby #2 has a good day. Pretty soon, those second thoughts on parenthood stopped appearing, though on nights when there is little sleep, we still joke and say “why” but it is a joke and not backed up by doubts.
Those two words came with such power and confidence that second thoughts rarely appear now and are confined to decorating or clothing decisions. How did you conquer your second thoughts?